your life is a good life

Last night, I decided that I would go on a walk.  The other day, I walked down the river, found a place to sit down, and read my book.  It was so relaxing and a great view so I wanted to do it again.

I left my apartment, later than I had anticipated.  On my way out I ran into my friend, Lisa.  I had met her once before.  She grew up here in China but moved to California about 30 years ago.  She is back now to take care of her father who is suffering from dementia.   When I saw Lisa walking slowly around the courtyard with her dad, I quickly changed my plans and walked with them.  I had a great conversation with her.  We talked about people who have dementia, her dad in particular.  She shared with me how it is so hard for her because her dad doesn't remember who she is.  Her dad will ask her questions about her parents and it breaks her heart when she has to tell him that he is her dad.  My heart broke for her.  I shared with her my experiences being a Hospice Nurse.  I told her that I know that it has to be hard for her but I know that she is doing the right thing, taking care of her dad.  I shared with her other experiences and told her how my grandpa also suffered from Alzheimer's.  I could tell that she was hurting and that she just needed someone to confide in.  I am grateful that I left my apartment later than I was planning on.  Maybe that was the Lord's hand in this situation.  I think so.

Being in China, so many people have reached out to help me.  I haven't really ever felt like I have been able to help someone in their desperate time of need since I have been here, like people do for me on a daily bases.  Tonight, I am grateful for the opportunity I had to talk to Lisa because maybe that is just what she needed that day.  I know I didn't say anything magnificent to her but I was there listening and sometimes that is just what people need.  I wanted so badly be to able to share with her my beliefs.  I wanted to share with her the knowledge that I have that we don't have to suffer alone.  We can find peace and safety in our Heavenly Father.  I wanted to share with her that she will be able to see the dad that she grew up with again someday.  I wanted her to know the plan of salvation.  But I couldn't.  I couldn't share it with her because I am in China.  The day will come when we will be able to but right now I can just share and testify through my example.  I pray everyday that the light of Christ will shine through me and will touch the lives of the people that I associate with here.  My actions have to speak louder than anything else because we can't share what we believe with our mouths.

When I finished talking with Lisa, I found a bench and began reading Work and the Glory.  Not even five minutes after I had sat down, a cute little Chinese man sat down right next to me.  He spoke to me in Chinese and I kindly told him that I didn't understand what he was saying.  He continued anyways, speaking in Chinese and pointing to my book.  I responded, in English, and asked him if he wanted me to read to him.  He answered back, in Chinese, so I really have no idea what his response was.  I took whatever he said as a yes and began to read to him.  Obviously he didn't understand.  (Yes, I read him Work and the Glory which probably isn't allowed but he didn't understand me anyways.)  He talked to me some more and I responded back in English.  This went on for a good five minutes.  He then pointed to my book again so I read to him some more.  He then said something and motioned to his apartment and for me to come with him.  So I did.  On second thought... I shouldn't get into the habit of following random strangers into their apartment...  I figured that, even though I am not a runner, I could run faster than him.  He was old and weak, so I am sure I could beat him up too, if it came down to that.  Luckily, it didn't.  So I continued to follow him into his apartment.  He offered me coffee and tea and thought I was crazy when I kindly declined both of his offers.  He sat me down on his couch with a bowl of candy in front of me.  He turned on the news.  We sat there and had a conversation that neither of us could understand.  He showed me pictures of his family and of him when he was younger.  He tried writing Chinese characters on a piece of paper for me, hoping that I would understand.  I so badly wished that I could.  He forced me to eat more candy as we sat and watched the news.  It was such a pleasant time.  After a little bit, I decided that I should probably get going.  I told him so, thanked him, and motioned to the door.  This old friend of mine wouldn't let me leave alone.  He got up and got his shoes back on and walked me home.  He was so sweet.  Even though neither of us spoke the same language, we were able to connect on a different level.  He taught me that me that we don't need words in order to form a friendship and communicate.

This is a picture from Shelby's birthday.  We went to dinner with these friends of ours and then we sung our hearts out at KTV.  For those of you who are not familiar with KTV, it is practically karaoke in a hotel room.  It rocks and it would do America good if they looked into this.  Yes, you are right, our friends now consist of people over the age of 30 but I wouldn't have it any other way.  Life is too short to not be friends with and watch the news with the old man in the tower next to you or to be friends with the successful business men that own their own restaurant.  Age doesn't matter, culture doesn't matter, language barriers don't matter, and our backgrounds don't matter.  All that matters is that we embrace where we are at in life, learn from those around us, and help those in need.  Friends will come and people you never would have thought will influence your life in many ways.  

No matter what, your life is a good life, so live it and love it.

Teaching

I came to China to teach.  Sometimes I wish that I could live here in China without teaching but then I remember that the whole reason why I am here is so that I can teach English to these Chinese students of mine.  I hope they are learning at least a little bit of English from me but sometimes I wonder...

Teaching is a lot harder than I expected it to be.  I think that every little girl, at some point in their childhood, dreams of becoming a teacher, or maybe it was just me...  I can tell you right now that I am so grateful that I changed my mind and found a different career path.  Don't get me wrong, I really have enjoyed teaching here so far but it comes with its struggles.  I am not cut out to be a teacher.  I am not good at it.  I have free game when it comes to what I want to teach my students and I never know exactly what I should teach and how I should teach it.  I want to challenge them, or else I will lose their attention.  It can't be too hard, or else it is way over their heads.  I want it to be fun so that they enjoy learning but it can't be too fun because then they are just uncontrollable.  Wait, they are always uncontrollable no matter what the lesson is like...  Anyways, I struggle.  Some lessons are better than others.  Whatever I am doing seems to be working and I am getting by just fine but I just wish that I could cater to all of the students.  Sadly, that is not physically possible.  But...

Today was a bad day.  I was a mean teacher.  A very mean teacher.  All I did was yell and shout at them to be quiet and to quit throwing their chair at their neighbor.  I kept having to tell everyone to sit in their seats and to stop getting up every two seconds.  But I was not very nice about it at all.  (No, I did not laugh while I was trying to punish today.  I was seriously angry.)  And now I feel bad about it.  I need to apologize to that class but they didn't even seem to care that I was mad.  They didn't do anything to change their behavior.  I still shouldn't have gotten mad at them like I did.  I should have been more patient and calm but instead I lost it.  Did getting mad and yelling at them make the situation any better?  No.  They didn't stop what they were doing and I didn't feel any better after yelling.

I hope I don't get angry and yell anymore like I did today.  I don't want my students to remember me as their angry foreign teacher that yelled the entire class period.  I want them to remember me for good.  I want to make a difference in these student's lives.  I haven't exactly figured how I am going to go about doing this and I hope that I can figure it out soon because the clock is ticking...

All I know is that I can love them and I can give them a hug.  Who knows, maybe the hug that they get from me is one that has been much needed.  They go days without seeing their mother and sometimes (or all of the time, in my opinion) these little first and second graders need someone to love them.  That is something that I can do even with the language barrier.  I can kiss their hand when they hurt it while they were rough housing between classes.  I can give them all a high five whenever I see them.  I can let them hang on me even if I am about to fall over.  And I can take a few seconds to kneel down and give each of them a hug because, who knows, maybe that is something they need that particular day.

I may not be cut out to be a teacher and I still might not have a clue what I am doing teaching wise, but I am determined to make a difference in these little Chinese kid's life.  They won't remember every lesson I try to teach them but I hope that they learn some English from me.  After all, that is what I have come here to do.  In the end, will they really remember who taught them about the seasons, their five senses, or sports?  No.  But they will remember how I made them feel.  Will I be remembered as the teacher who I was today?  The one who yelled and shouted at them to knock it off and the one who took away every little thing that they could get their little hands on.  Or will they remember me as the teacher who loved them and really cared about them and wanted them to learn?  I hope that it is the latter.  If that is what I want, then I can't be the teacher that I was today.

my new ride

That scooter in the above picture is mine.  Well, I should say ours.  Shelby and I bought an electric scooter this week.  Let me tell you, this is one of the best decisions I have ever made.  The other week we were with our friend Claire and she needed us to ride her mom's scooter home to her house for her.  Of course, we jumped on that opportunity.  That is when I knew that I really wanted a scooter.  In China you don't need any special license or insurance so we thought getting a scooter would be a great idea.  One day we hopped on the bus and we didn't take the bus home.  Now that was a great feeling.  We went into a couple scooter shops and asked for prices and looked at a variety of scooters.  We may or may not have had to have them write the prices down on a piece of paper because once we get passed 100 RMB, I can't understand the numbers.  They get too complicated for me.  The third scooter shop we went in is when we found the above pictured scooter.  We fell in love the second that we laid our eyes on her.  She was perfect!  Through hand gestures and Chinese, that I didn't understand, the lady showed us all the bells and whistles of the scooter.  It was just what we needed so we paid her and took off on it.  Yes, we did get helmets and yes, we were able to find our way home without a problem.  Riding on a scooter through the streets of China is a feeling that I hope I will never forget.  The wind in you hair is an exhilarating feeling.  Riding up on the sidewalks when there is too much traffic is awesome.  Not to mention, not having to stand on a crowded bus where every ounce personal space is violated is great.  Riding the scooter makes me feel free and more independent.  I love it and I am so excited for all of the adventures we are going to have on this trusty little thing.  I can't wait!

As for other things that are happening...

My heart belongs to these kids, even if they are little stinkers in class.  They are adorable.  They have so much love to give.  I always have multiple kids hanging on me and dragging me to class.  I receive about 100 hugs a day from these kids and when they see me off campus they are so excited to see me.  Heck, when they see me on campus, they are so excited to see me.  They yell "teacher, teacher, teacher" all day long.  They are the best.  They may not listen to me during class, and they may not have clue what we are talking about but they definitely know how to love.

Oh, and what about that all those times when the kids get a hold of the computer and blast songs like Justin Bieber and Frozen??  Yeah, that happens and I don't even do anything to stop them.  Sometimes, okay, most of the time, I actually join in with them.  I should get the horrible teacher award...  Oops.  At least we are all having fun.  I guarantee that they practice more English during those songs alone then they do the entire class period.  It is awesome.

Also, I am terrible at disciplining them.  Terrible.  In the middle of trying to punish them I just start laughing.  Don't ask me why.  Maybe because whatever they are doing is completely ridiculous and the fact that they can't understand me is pretty funny too.  So, disciplining them doesn't seem to work because they think I am just kidding.  I have got to get better at this.

We found the park that we were looking for!  It is fantastic.  It turns out that it is actually a mini amusement park.  So much fun!  It made me want to go to Six Flags or something like that because I love roller coasters!  There we met a Chinese guy who we also hung out with the next day.  He was pretty much the most hilarious Chinese person I have ever met.  He was so concerned about our safety to the point where it was just so funny.  He somehow even convinced us to sing him an American song outside on the street for everyone to hear.  For those of you who know me, definitely know that he had no idea what he was getting himself into.  It was pretty terrible but it happened.  I think he learned his lesson.

a little bit of Mexico

Yes, I just titled this post 'a little bit of Mexico'.  But I am in China...  Why would I be blogging about Mexico??  Good question and let me tell you...

If there is any one kind of food that I miss while I have been in China, it is Mexican food.  There is just something about a simple bean and cheese burrito, topped with cheese and fresh salsa.  Or how about a hot and steamy enchilada?  Or just plain chips and salsa?  Yumm.  There is nothing of that sort over here.  There is absolutely no cheese, except for the very expensive cheese in the important isle at Walmart.  You can't find any tortillas anywhere.  Disappointing, huh?  

Shelby and I got thinking the other day that we could make our own salsa.  They have all of the fresh ingredients and all we really needed to find were some tortilla chips.  I was willing to pay whatever the price to get my hands on some tortilla chips.  Lucky for us, there were some in the imported section!  You better believe that we bought them.  They may have been 30 RMB but, like I said, I was willing to pay that price.  We bought the fresh ingredients on the street and everything only cost 7 RMB total.  As soon as we got home we made that salsa that has been on our mind for a very long time.

Bringing a little bit of Mexico to China was much needed.  The chips may have already been a little stale but I didn't even care.  I guarantee that there will be some more salsa making in the near future.  

the happenings of the week

Another week has come and gone.  My time in China is flying on by!  It is making me realize that the time that I have here is very short and that thought makes me sad.  I love it here. I love experiencing these new things and discovering more about myself.

One of the many great things that happened this week is that the sun was out for one full day!  Ah!  You have no idea how happy this made me.  It was such a gorgeous day and I definitely soaked it all in.  It may have only stayed out for one day but it gave me hope that the sun does actually shine in China.  Also, I think it is important to note that the fountains in the hotel by my apartment have begun filling up with water.  That has to mean that the warm weather is approaching really soon.  I just know it.  I can't wait for the day when my clothes don't take 4 plus days to dry.  That will be a cause for major celebration.

Earlier in the week we went to our favorite little restaurant that happens to be on our street.  Lucky us!  (or maybe this is a bad thing because we are tempted to go there more than we probably should...)  Lately, this restaurant has sounded so good to me every single day.  It might be due to the fact that we usually try to eat at the school's cafeteria.  Cafeteria food in general isn't the tastiest.  Now try mixing cafeteria food with Chinese food.  Yeah, they don't really go hand in hand in my book.  So after a failed meal at the cafeteria we went to our favorite little restaurant.  We asked for jiaozi, which are practically pot stickers.  Unfortunately, they didn't have any so we got fried rice instead.  Don't worry, the fried rice is still an excellent option.  They told us to come back the next day and they would have jiaozi.  Of course we had to because we agreed to it.  The next day after classes and a heated game of ping pong with the Asians, we found ourselves sitting at this restaurant again.  Little did I know, I would be making the jiaozi myself.  It was awesome and so much fun!  Through the huge language barrier, I successfully made jiaozi and they were oh so good.  The little family that runs the store is the cutest and so sweet.  They always give us at least 50% off every time and they are so excited when we come in.  They are officially one of our adopted families here in China.  They may not know that but they are.

This week we also went with our other adopted family to climb a mountain.  The mountain we climbed is at the monkey park that we went to a few weeks ago.  This time we hiked up a different mountain to a temple.  It was a fun little outing and I always love spending time with these people.  

(This was the other week when we celebrated my Chinese grandma's birthday.)

Saturday we set off to go find a park that we had heard about.  We should have known that we wouldn't end up finding it because the directions we had were not very helpful at all.  Instead, we found a huge market.  It was the biggest market I have ever seen in China, and that is saying a lot.  We explored this market for hours and we didn't even make a dent in it.  We will for sure be going back.  

I am ready to take on another week in China.  Hopefully my students will behave better than they did last week.  I have learned to set my expectations low for classes.  If I don't, I will never meet them.  I just hope this week that no one cries the whole 40 minutes of class and that no one throws up in class either.  If those happen, it will be a good week.  Also, side note, these little Chinese students are in love with Justin Bieber.  I think we practice our English way more during that song than we did the previous 35 minutes of class.  Someone needs to show them a better music selection...

Pictionary

Yesterday I went to the supermarket before class to get the fly swatters I needed in order to play a game with my students.  I spent about five minutes walking around the entire supermarket looking for these fly swatters.  Nothing in China makes sense so, I looked everywhere for them.  Not just in the section that I figured they should be in.  I still couldn't find them.  I wasn't willing to leave the store empty handed but due to the language barrier that seems to be a constant problem, I had no way of asking for where this particular item was located.  I then had a brilliant idea!  I would draw a picture of a fly swatter and show it to one of the workers.  I then became worried because my art skills are just as bad as my Chinese.  I tried anyways.  I guess my drawing skills are better than I thought because I got my beloved fly swatters.  The lady who helped me had a good laugh too.  I am sure I made her day.

a day out with my student

Saturday I was able to enjoy a day out with my student and his family.  It was a blast.

I am almost positive that the mother, Emma, didn't tell her son, Zach, and his friend, David, that their teacher would be coming along for the day's activities.  Emma picked us up from the school and then we went to pick up the rest of the bunch.  When the little boys got in the car, Emma explained to the little first graders that we, their foreign teachers (who sing songs and shout 'anjing' --anjing means quiet in Chinese-- all 40 minutes of class) would be joining them for the day.  She then asked my two students if they were happy about it.  One shouted, "No!".  Can I blame them??  If my mom had tricked me into spending a day with one of my teachers, I would have hated it too.

They took us to lunch at a place called Pizza Fun.  It was a buffet full of pizza and other random Chinese food.  Let's just say I was in heaven.  I love Chinese food but when you get a chance to eat Western food here, you don't pass up that opportunity.  I am sure that they thought we were pigs.  I made the mistake of eating a piece of pizza with my hands but when I saw that it wasn't the social norm, I quickly switched to my fork.  Yes, this restaurant had forks, spoons, and knife.  I wasn't quite sure what to do with them.

We then traveled a little ways to go pick strawberries.  The strawberries were in little green houses and I had a blast.  In America, I always tend to go for the biggest, reddest strawberries I can find.  I was told that the small ones are the best ones here.  I am not entirely sure if that is true or I may have been told that because all they really had were small ones.  Regardless, it was a fun outing!

I thought that is where this day out with my students but I was sure wrong about that.  They then took us to an ancient town.  I had head about this ancient town and had planned on going sometime but it sure was fun to go with them.  I was told that this town was built around 1370.  It is so old but it was awesome!  There were so many fun little shops all along the sidewalk.  Emma and her husband kept buying us things to try.  Half of the time I had no idea what I was eating.  I enjoyed most of it but there were a few things that I wasn't so sure about.  I have never been so full in my life but that didn't seem to matter.  They kept buying us more and more things.  I am not kidding when I say that.  It is the truth.  We were sent home with a backpack full of goodies.  On the way home they even stopped at a bakery and bought us another bag full of baked goods.  I am pretty sure he bought one of everything in that little store.

So, I am pretty sure it is true when I say that I have met the nicest people in all of China.  That isn't a joke.  Emma and her family were the greatest!  They were so kind to us and so giving.  I love that there are nice people all over the world but I really just might have to say that the nicest people live in China.  So many kind strangers have helped me in more ways that I can count.  They treat me so well and I will never be able to repay any of them.  It does make me want to pay it forward and pass on the kindness that everyone here so freely gives.  I love it.  I am determined to be a better person.  China has made me realize that what I have previously thought was good, is not good enough.  I can be better and I will be better.